Some days I wake up and realize that this is a day the Lord has made for me to enjoy. I shall rejoice and be glad.
Some days I wake up and know that this is a day the Lord has made for me to enjoy. I should rejoice and be glad. Instead, I roll back over, cover my head with my blanket and imagine what would happen if I just decided to not get out of bed that day.
Sometimes I feel like the latter happens more. I don't know why. I think I get overwhelmed with everything. I think I like to pretend that I can be an adult with all the pluses of being one but without having all the responsibility's. Still being able to decide to get up an hour or two after my alarm and not be late for work. To decide not to clean my room. To decide not to take a shower until my parents tell me I have to.
Sometimes I think I would prefer to be a little child again. To be 8 and have not a care in the world. But then I remember, nope, I don't ever want to go back to that.
I had a good time being 8. I had loving parents. I had millions of fun things I could do. I wouldn't be who I am without those years.
But I'm so happy to be where I am right now.
I'm getting married in August. I'm marrying such an amazing man. The Lord has blessed me beyond measure.
I don't know how or if I can ever thank Him enough.
Maybe if I look at each day as a gift that I should live joyfully I'll get close.
God wants the best for me. Sometimes that means hardships. Right now that means joy. I should live my days remembering that. It won't always be so easy to be happy. If I can't be filled with joy now, when things are so good, will I be able to see the joy when things get tougher?
I pray I will.
